The winter holiday season just passed with a flurry of shopping, crowded streets and malls, food indulgence and empty wallets. While the energy and excitement is high during this season, the holiday season should be one of light, gratitude, hope and remembrance of the past year achievements. This is why our eyes usually used to look outside should shut down for a moment and look within, to the bottom of one’s heart. There we should find gems of good deeds and love.
But unfortunately, most often our souls are harbouring a Pandora’s box from which is erupting all year’s gathering of negative feelings: cruelty, arrogance, vanity, greed, jealousy, lust, hatred, sickness, laziness, sadness, fear, deceit, subjugation and suffering. I have not mentioned all by chance, but as a sort of checklist for people who reached the reality check point.
Now more than ever the resentments or frustrations come and demand their price, making the victim to drown his feelings in alcohol or to unload his dissatisfaction on his loved ones. So all that is really important for this person, inside or outside is being suffocated in the alcohol fumes, overeating or anger. Not even the holiday celebration cannot remove the miseries of survival and awaken him to true life; the life in which Hestia will put one more time in the Pandora’s box the “hope”. The hope of humanity, of turning to true human values.
Remember that the true celebration is life itself, containing all the good or not so good deeds committed during the year. The holiday is a reconciliation with oneself, with the loved ones and even more so with those who are not your favourites list.
Each family member, friend, colleague, acquaintance is actually a potential life lesson that can really bring happiness. Because happiness is composed of joys and the joys are born from interactions with everyone around you. It is necessary only a step or a new approach to uncover the treasure of each. And if the form of discovery becomes a way of life, you can say with your hand on heart that you are happy.
P.S. The holiday gifts, flowers are just the tip of the iceberg. First ask your loved ones what they really want from you. And maybe you will discover with amazement that your life partner wants to see you smiling and be more affectionate to him or her more often than give them an expensive gift.
The child may want to play more with you, if possible daily, than to gift him a computer game. Parents might ask you to visit or call them more often, instead of sending them expensive gifts they will put near the old ones.
Colleagues, associates, employees may ask you to “see them” during the rest of the year as well, to allow them to express their feelings and opinion at work. Why not, to also give you a good advice that might allow you to grow your business. This will enable them to enjoy more the holiday gifts but also the work atmosphere during the year. Because no matter how big the gift, it is consumed in a moment, but the job remains for years and years…
A happy life means to give and receive love and compassion. May your holidays be bright and filled with love, always!
Constantin Cornea, Psychotherapist and Life Coach