The summer and your vacation ended a few months ago, work and life have been keeping you busy, and your next holiday is far away. For many, this can cause frustrations, neurosis, behavioral disorders or eating disorders almost imperceptibly. Unfortunately, too many let these states wear them out and start developing behaviors that may harm them or others.
We are often asked by our clients, “Why do I feel so frustrated?” or, “What can I do to escape the hopeless felling that my next vacation is so far away?”
The answers seem simple, although the dysfunctions that led to these feelings are often very difficult to correct. So let’s debate the two main questions.
1. Why do I feel frustrated?
The reasons can be:
• Problems in your relationship or lack of a romantic relationship.
• Issues at work: overloaded, underpaid, poor training, working conditions (lack of natural light, very small office, lack of intimacy in spaces, open space, etc.).
• A dysfunctional relationship with your bosses: they have personality problems, are poorly trained professionally or behave abusively.
• Friendships with people who will not bring you extra value: friends who complain all the time and trigger neurosis, anxiety or depression or friends overwhelmed by their addictions to alcohol, drugs, etc.
• Lack of hobbies: you work to afford vacations, holidays, weekend getaways, going out, entertainment, etc. Hobbies keep your inner force balanced. On one side of the balance, we should have the work, and on the other side, our hobbies. Any imbalance in one way or another can bring life dissatisfaction or excessive dependency on certain pleasures.
• Sports: its absence from your daily routine will decrease your energy and results. This will make you move and think more slowly, causing you to feel sick or older than you are.
2. What can I do to not crave vacation time?
• Reevaluate your job: Try to see if you are in the job or the company you want to be in. If the assessment is negative, it becomes obvious this is the cause of frustration. Without making any changes, your general state will deteriorate more and more.
• Reassess your friends: take note if they are too boring, angry, hateful, talkative, quiet, plaintive, alcoholics or hypochondriacs. Their moods are your moods, and it will be easier to see in them what you cannot see about yourself. If you find that you are in relationships with the wrong people, you have to look for other friends. Those who do not match your personality and needs will only make you miss the joy of living.
• Reevaluate your romantic relationship: If you discover that your partner has problems like, such as works too much or is missing too much from home, is not helping with house chores, doesn’t understand you, doesn’t support you when you feel the need, consumes too much alcohol, or spends too much time with friends at the expense of the family, this is a sign that you need to work with a couples counselor.
The evident conclusion to the above questions is the revaluation of your life. Any complaints about job, salary, or communication with the partner can be like dark lenses that will not let you enjoy the sunshine. A bit of hedonism does not hurt, especially if it helps compensate for depression or anxiety. Success!
Constantin Cornea, Psychotherapist and Life Coach
Anda Tudor, Life Coach